Sunday, April 03, 2005

OH how I love thee Imdb

Edward Albee said, the purpose of art is to hold a mirror up to the audience's noses and say: This is who you are... now change.

Shooting went really well this weekend. Exhausted does not even describe the utter fatigue, but I had a suprisingly good time. I have a really great group which helps a lot. I am happy with my footage and am actually looking forward to editing and composing.

My father has been missing for going on 2 months now. No one knows where he is... there is no trace of him anywhere. I don't know how i feel about it really. I hate him, but there is this part of me that is sad and it freaks me out. How can you love and hate someone so much at the same time?

And I have not talked to my mother in about a week.

I hate feeling as if I am the person that is always there for everyone else. Not that I don't want to be there for people that I care about. I just feel people take advantage of that. They know that I will be there if they call, that I will drop what I am doing to help them, and to make them feel better. And I hate feeling bad when I need help. I don't have anyone in my life who is there for me when I need them. I am all alone. So I have decided that I am not going to call in on my family as much. It is time that I stop being the mother in my mothers life and start focsing on my own. I have given up so much.. and I do not regret a single bit of it. But I am not going to do it any more. For once in my life, I am going to think about myself first.

I am excited for this semester to end. Only two more big tests, one 30 page script and a film to finish. not too bad if you ask me.

And one last rant...
I really hate it when people do not hand you money. To me, it is possibly the rudest gesture. When I have my hand out and someone throws their money down. I can't describe how one action can say so much about how that person views you, your job and your status. Its horrible.

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