sprite reminds me of throwing up

Do you ever think about the different ways that your life could have gone? How different it really could have been?

Its weird

I am addicted to craigslist

And I just yelled at t-mobile . . but I got 20 free picture messages :)

I wish other people were responsible sometimes, I hate doing all the work. Sometimes I want to be the irresponsible one. . .

Today was a good day all around. Going downtown later with Ali and possible Hope. YAY

Hopefully I will remember the night this time.

If you like Pina Coladas

Do you ever feel like you are never good at anything? I mean, that there are lots of things that you can do well, just nothing really great.

When it comes to creativity, I almost always have none. It is sad. I wish I could paint, and draw and write kick ass cool scripts like everyone else. I feel like the stupid kid in the corner with their finger up their nose.

I have been crying for like 4 days straight. No one knows. I have become queen of hiding it.
And I can't talk about it, because it just makes me more sad, or anxious or something. Talking about other people's problems are better.

I hate telling people about my life. I wish I was a happy person, and did not just have to pretend all the time.

You know what else.

My apartment smells bad, because the dishes have not been done, but I don't want to do them because none of them are mine. And that is sad.

It is pretty outside my window

In my head, I create the way things should go.

For instance I create all of the dialogue for a conversation I am going to have with a person.

And I am always disappointed when it does not go the way thought it would. And it never goes the way I think it will.

So really, I am just always setting myself up for disappointment. Thats not good.

After 90 hours of work . . . and more to come

I am so busy. I am so busy that I can't think sometimes and when I find time to think, all I can think about is what I should be doing, or what needs to be done. It is incredibly tiring.

But, I dont think I could live any other way.
I have never been unbusy. Since I was born, there have always been things to do, dance, school, band, movies, exchange etc. I have never had time to think.

My feet always hurt, they throb constantly. I wish that would stop.

I do fear that one day, when I don't have a million things to do, I am going to freak out. I cry when I have half a day of free time.

I can't decide if I like my life or not. So many good things, so many bad. I guess I should stop wanting to like it, and just enjoy it, whatever it is.

easier said than done.